Dance monkey, dance

How Instagram wants us to perform for likes, and therefore sales as small business owners, and why I won't do it.

Oh come all ye faithful small business owners! It’s that wonderful time of year where, with good fortune bestowed upon us, we may sell our handmade wares and services in abundance and promote with abandon across our social media platforms. I love to see my crafty companions sharing their giftables across the internet, and it often serves as a reminder that I too can awaken the sales person within; a Danny Devito character, clad in a brown Ill-fitting suit, bad tan and shifty eyes. I sincerely hope you don’t see that in me when I’m promoting Substack or Etsy, because there is gratitude and kindness behind these eyes, I promise!

Instagram is feeling more hopeless these days, and I know this feeling is resonating with many of you across the platform. Tara from homesteading account Slowdown Farmstead has touched on this subject recently as she’s noticing that her posts and stories reach a mere 100 people out of her 80,000+ followers. I’ve recognised this same pattern on my own platform and really only get engagement of any kind if I play the algorithm game — post a selfie, which I very seldom do, follow some god-awful Instagram trend that was no doubt snatched from the demonic claws of TikTok, or if I exploit my baby’s beautiful face and identity. I have considered the latter, which feels weird to admit, and have posted side profiles of Hobby but there is a festering pit of doubt in my stomach when I consider sharing him fully and publicly with Instagram. Call it intuition maybe, who knows? But that’s just the thing, who knows? Who knows what the consequences are of sharing my un-consenting child’s face on Instagram? Who will it reach? How will his identity by used and saved? It’s not worth it for a few more click-throughs to my store or some extra subscribers over here.

From @slowdownfarmstead Instagram

I really do enjoy using Instagram for the purpose of engaging and socialising with the many wonderful crafters, farmers, homesteaders, herbalists, chefs and mums that I have befriended on the platform, I am inspired every single day by the people I follow and find it encouraging me to be more creative off of the app. But the days of using the platform to run a business feel like they have slipped by, in the same way that low-rise jeans and crop tops have. I feel like an old lady who missed the cool-kid bus and watched it drive off to the big city. The bus stank of desperation, vanity, and hopelessness, but a part of me wanted to be on it because just a dash of that sauce might really help my business out.

What dance does Instagram want us to do to be seen? What sort of mindless content will please the algorithms so that I might make a sale or two? I don’t want to use “trending audio” over a video of me making mince pies. I want to use olde English Christmas carols. I don’t want to say “comment WHATEVER and I’ll send you the link” just so I can create engagement. I am not a circus monkey or wanting to perform for the algorithm. I don’t like games. I don’t want to conform to TikTok-created trends so that I’ll show up on the “explore page”. I just want to share 18th-century artwork or a recipe for a hearty venison pie. A frustrating thing is that most of my 10,000+ followers want to see that too, that’s why we follow each other but by not engaging with Instagram’s unspoken rules-for-popularity I have in-fact sunk to the sidelines alongside all of my peers that indeed choose to stay true to their own taste and values.

I have seen a dramatic fall in sales this holiday which is disheartening as Etsy and Substack are my main forms of income as a full-time mum. I used to do the market circuits here but don’t have the mental or physical capacity to take that on with an 8-month old at the moment. I hope to return to that mode of business in a year or two, where maybe Hobby can sit on my lap and engage with customers, no doubt winning them over with his dimpled smile.

I think this all ends with either Instagram reconsidering their flawed use of algorithms, allowing the metaphorical space to be fair game, which I highly doubt, or ideally it ends off the app — perhaps over here on long-form platforms like Substack but hopefully a return to in-person interactions, markets, trades and pen pals.

Social media aside this really is the time to be jolly. For me, gift making and giving are the best parts about December. Back home the faint promise of snow would be lingering on all of our minds, even though it seldom snows this side of the year. After some playful bartering with Mother Winter, we usually settle on a hard and sparkly frost in the absence of the white stuff, and marvel at the bejeweled spider webs and frost-bitten grass on dark December dawns. There is a 0% chance of snow here in California so my jolly’s come from elsewhere like baking and collecting wild bay and berries for the holiday table. I listen to Christmas music — yes, even the awful stuff — but adore the Kings College Christmas hymns the most, where I am instantly transported to a musty, damp stone church that smells of earth and old bibles. It’s a special smell that you only know if you’ve spent time in 500 year old churches, but I imagine comparable to eau de parfum: Old Library and Ancient Tome.

I’ve still yet to figure out how and when I’ll find time to start and finish the gift ideas that I have for loved ones as it turns out having an 8-month old baby is full on! Who would have thought? I’ve been making up a different cookie every morning while I sip on my first heavenly cup of coffee this week and freezing the dough so I can assemble Christmas cookie boxes later in the month. I’ve made:

• German Lebkuchen

• Cardamom and Lingonberry Thumbprints

• Fiery Triple-Ginger Gingerbread

Next up is rye shortbread which I’ll be topping with a date and chestnut caramel and dipping in dark Belgian chocolate, and a dark chocolate and orange shortbread biscuit. I sourced some vintage biscuit tins at estate sales and have been collecting charming tissue and ribbons to put together cookie boxes as gifts.

Im trying to make the Christmas cake this moring if Hobby is happy to play by himself for a while. I’ll be sharing a recipe later this week for some compound butters for gifting!